Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Love Me All The Time
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Love You
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Pulled Me Out Of Time
And Hung Me On A Line
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe I'm A Lonely Girl
Who's In The Middle Of Something
That She Doesn't Really Understand

Maybe I'm A Girl And Maybe You're The Only Man
Who Could Ever Help Me
Baby Won't You Help Me Understand

Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You're With Me All The Time
Maybe I'm Afraid Of The Way I Leave You
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way You Help Me Sing My Song
Right Me When I'm Wrong
Maybe I'm Amazed At The Way I Really Need You

(~Falling for You by JEM~)

a short message from him
"gw mau get to know her well, didn't have a chance b4.Walau gw nga tau dia feel the sam jg nga, it's a risk, shud do it dis time b4 gw nyesel lg"

bener2 bikin gue lega banget..
gue pernah berada di posisi dia sebelon nya..
beda nya itu pikiran gue pada saat gue lagi mutusin whether i should tell him how i feel or not..

gue pernah nulis kalo dulu gue susah banget get over one of my ex-es,
hanya karena gue penasaran..
"gimana kalo dulu gue bisa jujur sama dia ttg perasaan gue"
"gimana kalo dulu gue ga gegabah ngambil keputusan"
gitu2..sampe akhirnya gue ya tetep aja penasaran sampe hampir 9 taon lama nya..

ga bae banget itu...
dan mangkanya gue lega banget dia dah bisa mutusin itu..
gue ga mau nanti nya dia penasaran sampe kapan pun..
ga bae buat dia nya..ga bae juga buat his future girlfriend..
ce mana yang mau co nya itu masih menyimpan rasa penasaran sama seseorang dari masa lalu nya..ya ga..
itu juga yang kemaren gue bilank sama dia..

*fyuhhh* still in sad mode...tapi feeling much much better..dan legaaaa...
thanx banget buat yang dari kemaren subuh dah dengerin gue nangis kayak orang bodoh, nerima curhatan2 gue..keep on checking me on the phone *tenank guys...i'm not thinking suicidal koq hahaha*
gue bener2 blessed banget punya orang2 di sekeliling gue yang care banget..
lending me their hand and help me to climb the ladder again..
be patient with me, wouldn't you..
i'll get to the top again one day:)

hati gue hancur berantakan..
sebagian hati gue masih ngarepin biar jawaban itu berubah..
sebagian lagi ngeyakinin hati gue kalo itu jalan yang terbaik..
tapi satu hal yang gue tau dengan pasti..
gue belon siap buat me-reset ulang hubungan gue ama dia..
gue ga siap kalo seharian ga sms ato telp ama dia..
ga siap juga kalo misalnya nanti di kampus mulai harus biasa buat jauh2 dari dia..
gue terlalu sayang sama dia...

PS: not that i've had any boyfriend-girlfriend relation with him..
tapi emank selama ini gue deket banget sama dia..
dan ya emank gue sayang sama dia
'n he told me he feels the same..
tapi karena keadaaan yang gue rasa cuman gue 'n dia yang ngerti..