My life after university has just begun..
I graduated last November whilst I started my first full-time job last October..

If there is such thing as 'identity crisis', probably I'm having one here..
At some point, I haven't been able to decide what I want to do in the future..
I looked around..
and suddenly I said to myself..
"I want to do that..and that..and that..Ughhh that also seems interesting..
And the result..a huge confusion of what I exactly want to do after this?

It feels like I'm being chased by TIME..
One of my friend told me that it's somewhat normal to feel like this..
I just began my journey..that's why I keep on looking around trying to figure out whether this is the path that I want to explore..
And it's better to turn to other direction while I'm still at the beginning of it..

At the beginning of the long-distance relationship,
everything felt moving in a really slow motion..
Realizing that I still have one whole year ahead of me to go through only made it worse..
It wasn't easy to went through a day..
Even work at the office failed to distract my mind..

I can't remember when exactly it changed..
Somehow everything's starting to move in a fast pace..
Weeks passes by..Months changes..
Last time I remembered was New Year's eve celebration..
and now..already in the middle of 2007..ckckck

It's now another 4 months to go..
It's no longer feel like forever..
Plenty of things are coming up..
2 of my dear friends are visiting Spore at the end of this month..
The upcoming month, Vivi is coming here *yay...can't wait for this one*..
The following month, one of my friends here is getting married
August..I'm coming back to Jakarta *depends on my brother*
And then September will come..

Haix...icha ganbatte ne...

..my life as a 22 year-old..

I graduated from university..

I got my first full time job..

I'm in love with someone..

I'm thankful for who I am now..for everything I have and don't have..I feel blessed..

I started to leave my past and consentrating on my present and future..

Haix...minutes away from changing my age to 23 *lol*
It's not about adding another digit in my age that matters..
It's how I am able to look back and learn from my mistakes and the things I did right..
It's about celebrating the love from my surroundings..It's realizing that 23 years ago, my Mom was struggling to bring me to this world.. *luv you Mom:)*

Ahh well..
I have no idea what I'm gonna write next hahaha
good night everyone:)

I wake up this morning with these thoughts in my mind:
What if today was my last day on earth?
How would I spend today?
What are things that I've always wanted to do but I haven't done?
Will people miss me?
Will people still remember me long after I go?
How much have I contribute to this world?

The answers to those questions:
If today was my last day on earth..
I'd be one of those people who would feel all the regret of all the things I should have done but I haven't..

If today was my last day on earth..
I'd call my boyfriend asking him to come back to Jakarta right away
I'd cash out all my savings..
I'd take the earliest flight to Jakarta..Having lunch with my family and friends..
I'd give my savings to my family..pack up all my stuff *making sure my family knows what to do with all of them*
I'd try the wall climbing in PIM *the one I've always wanted to try*
I'd take a walk with my boyfriend at our favorite spot..
I'd go to my grandpa's urn deposit *i don't know the term in english hehehe itu lohh tempat penyimpanan abu*
I'd go to church and ask for Sacrament of Confession..
I'd say goodbye to the people I love..

There are so many things that I've always postponed or put aside with so many reasons or things that I've planned but never have a chance to do..
I no longer know where to start the list..
I've always wanted to:
see snow..
bungee jump..
go to Japan and France..
have a dog..
build my own family..
build a school..
etc..etc..

Ahhh well..
That concludes everything..
I haven't optimized the way I live my life..