I was having this conversation with my old friend about how we have come to a point where every thing around us seem so static..
then i showed her a reading from irine's blog..
Are we really in that kind of crisis??

...start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like
that's true..the more I stand on my own trying to live my life, the more i realize that:
1. there are things i thought i loved but at the end it was just a result of the urge from people around me..an urge for me to love something in this life. Fool me for that..
2. there are things i tried so hard to forget or to convince myself that they weren't for me, and now i cannot hold back anymore..

...because you barely know where you are now.
exactly what i've been through this last month. Having a turn over in my principles and my point of view..it has grown that kind of feeling when you look around and you realize that you don't recognize anything..You're lost...

...friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.
we've all been through this one, right..

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing
Not exactly like that..but everytime i look at my job, i go back to the first point above..

or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Who doesn't scare? All the calculation of how long will I have to work before I even afford to buy my own house, or to pay my bills..*ini pikiran seorang ce..gimana kalo co yach...*

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
I couldn't find any better way to describe this point..

...Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
Haha reflecting on my previous posts..It's true..I hate changes..It makes me feel insecure..As quoted from Everwood:
The more things change, the more they stay the same....at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw: my inability to change. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still.It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little.
--Ephram, "Everwood: My Brother's Keeper"

Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

Anyway, i'm still @d'office..
Working late as every other Friday *except for last week*
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