I'm in a stagnant position right now.
There's this big wall in front of me.
Not that I can't get through that wall..
I feel reluctant to break that wall..
Simply I know that the road on the other side of that wall will still be the same road that I've passed through all this time.
Bored? Could be..
Hipotesa : Action movies rarely satisfy my appetite of good movies.

Yesterday I spent 2 hours in the cinema watching Miami Vice.
It was just an okay movie for me.
Jamie Foxx was hot!!!
Gong Li looked old. Can't tell whether it's the make up, or else..
Colin Farrell..errr hot as usual;p

The film was incredibly long..
Even longer than Pirates of The Carribean.
Well, my point is haha I don't really recommend the movie for people who are not big fan of action movies;p
Year 1:
Desperately missing my old life "dibaca: teman2 lama ku, the secure feeling I've had since I was a child."
I grew up in the same environment for almost 10 years. Hanging around with the same people, not realizing that there is the "other world" out there.

Year 2:
I learnt that everything might seem beautiful, but apparently sometimes it only looks beautiful on the surface *if you know what i mean*. I started to realize that soon I would be on my own, thinking about my future job, enjoying every single minute I had.

Year 3:
I learnt to tell who are the real people..and who are just there to enjoy that particular moment.

Year 4:
Minimum level of tolerance; in a sense that I became more aware of people who were taking advantages from others. I learnt that it took a lot of energy to stand up and to confront those who *if I may say* are "experts" in being a "parasit". Why? Coz they always have a lot of reasons for everything.

Nevertheless, gue ngerasa 4 taon ini berharga banget..
Seperti kata orang2:
This life is a never-stop-learning process.
It shapes me to become who I am now..It is full of surprises.
A big hug to everyone in Bina Nusantara International University, especially CS 2006 students.
Acara perpisahan jadi ke mana nich:D
A special note goes to my beloved friends: Puja, Edwin, Clara..
Congratulations..you've passed the thesis defence:)

As for the rest..
Tommy, Ak, Ganda, Nye2, Lina, Panda, Irine, Virgin, Hasinah, Slamet, Pops, Harry, Io, Toto, Ardo, Dhita, Bea, Toni, WS, Erlina, Mutia, Ferdy, Sasa, Dennis..and everyone else..

Good luck..
I had a psikotest at a bank yesterday.
One word..Exhausting!!!!
The worst part is when I were given a paper (A3) with columns of numbers,
and I had to write down the value of ones of the two corresponding numbers di samping dua nomor itu.
For example:

Hahaha ilang konsen dikit..nomor nya dah berantakan.
Not to mention..nomor2 nya itu berderet panjanggggg banget....
Well, anyhow..me and my other 6 friends passed the psikotest
and all of us must go for interviews next Monday..
Am I being one of 'guru killer'?
Haha I have to admit, I tend to give my students difficult sets of problems..And a lot of basic practice. *What I mean by a lot..is I'll keep on providing them the problems until they show their complete understanding about that particular topic*
My reasoning is simple..
I've been told that the teachers in school usually give them easy problems for homework and exercise, but difficult and usually different kind of problems in the exam.
I thought, if they really understood the concept..they would be able to solve all problems.
Thus, every lesson started with giving a set of basic things..

I found that some of my students are memorizing things.
Let's see..One day I asked my P6 student:
What is the value of a in 6a + 7 = 19
He wrote down :
6a = 19 - 7
6a = 12
a = 2

Okay..I then asked him..
How about 9b - 11 = 34
He wrote down :
9b = 34 - 11
9b = 23
b = 23/9

When I told him that it's not the answer, he then argue with me..
He even made a bet with me.. If it's really wrong, he will have to do 5 more numbers. If it turned out to be right, then I have to stop the lesson right away.
I pointed out to him that whenever you move a number into the other side of equal sign, then the number will become its opposite..
Thus, it should be 9b = 34 + 11
He was like "Noo..but why this *pointing to number 1 question* is a minus?"
I pointed out again to the note that I made about moving numbers to the other side of equal sign..
He was "Oohh..ok ok.."

I then continued the lesson with other things..
I didn't directly give him another questions about that, coz to my experience..It's still fresh in his mind..
And yuppe..the next days, he kept on repeating the same mistake^^"
He defensed himself by saying "I forgot how to do it"
I can only say to him "Math is not something to be memorized. When you're trying to memorize something, you tend to forget; especially after you're learning new things. That's why I'm asking you to understand the concept, instead of memorizing the formula"

One day, he told me that I'm a 'killer teacher'..
Kalo satu pertanyaan dia blum bisa selesain dalam 5 menit, dia dah mulai merajuk biasa nya.
Puncak nya itu beberapa hari lalu, he literally broke my pencil into 2 part.
It's not the pencil I worried about..
It's his emotion that I'm worried about..
Am I too harsh to him?
My deepest condolences for my brothers and sisters who have gone through an unfortunate event this afternoon..

Serupa bumi yang berganti malam menjadi pagi,
begitu lah suatu saat nanti semua bencana ini akan berlalu.
Gelap menjadi terang,
air mata menjadi tawa..
If I could choose a song to depict the fear that I'm having right now, it would be this song..

Jem - Falling For You
Said there'd be no going back,
promised myself I'd never be that sad
Baby that why you've come along
to show me it's not always bad.
Coz I can feel it baby, I feel like I'm falling for you
but I'm scared to let go..
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt too.

It's true I've become a scheptic.
How many couples really last.
Just wish I had a crystal ball
to show me if it's worth it..
Coz I can feel it baby, I feel like I'm falling for you
but I'm scared to let go..
I'm scared coz my heart has been hurt too.

I've got to be sure coz it's been so long.
I cannot take the pain again if it all goes wrong..

This one came from a friend of a friend, who has no idea that I have a brother.

L : "Sama sapa loe cha ke sini?"
me: "Tuh sama nyokap, bokap n dd gue"
L : "Oohh? Itu dd loe?"
me: "Iyaa..loe pikir co gue?"
L : "iyee.."

This one came from a friend who have known me for 4 years, know that I have a brother, but have never seen my brother *despite the fact that all of us were in the same campus haha*

D : "*ehem ehem* chaa..ituu ga dikenalin? *sambil nunjuk2 ke arah seorang co deket gue*"
me: "Loe blum kenal dd gue?"
D : "??????"

I got that reactions almost every time..
I can only laugh watching people's reactions.

I have only one brother *younger brother to be exact*.
He's only 1.5 years apart from me.
We practically have spent almost all of our lives together.
Same kindergarden, same school, same Japanese course, same university..even same classes in my final year of university.
Translated the situation into 6 words "him, him, him and him again!!!"
but the thing is, I kinda miss him when he's not around.

Me and him, we used to fight over everything back when we're small.
During our so-called-puberty, we grew up in our own worlds.
Me with my bunch-of-friends, bunch-of-activities, bunch-of-troubles..
Him with his-not-so-many-friends, not-so-many-activities, not-so-many troubles.
We barely even speaking as long as I recall..

It all changed started in the university..
With him entering the same university as me, he HAD to drive with me every morning to campus hahaha
So, slowly the ice was breaking.
I think the 'moment' was back when my family was having a holiday in Bandung about 2 years ago.
That was like the very first heart-to-heart conversation we'd ever had.

Things were not as smooth as it is now.
Once upon a time *not so long ago*, we both had a huge fight.
huge as in we're not speaking one another for almost 2 months.
My mistake back then..
I guess it's true what they're saying..
What doesn't kill you, make you stronger

Recovering from that fight, both of us became so close..
For me personally, I've come to a point where I realized that I love him so much.
*OMG bro..don't start laughing when you read this!! Don't start to poke me either!! Most of all, jangan gr..weqqqqq*
We practically do almost everything together..
Freelancing programmer, fitness, shopping, curhat, watching movies..
We even joke in a way that almost no one can understand what are we talking about ahahha

Well, take a look at that picture and keep in mind that
he's my brother hahaha
If any of you saw me with a guy resemble him..
Yuppe..he's my brother..not my boyfriend!!!

Just got back watching Pirates of The Caribean.
Personally, I still prefer the first one..
This one was just too long..
I yawned for couple of times during the movie,
not to mention my friend kept on looking his watch and giving a confused face while saying:
"Baru 1.5 jam cha..."

The special effect was nice, though..
Johnny Depp was also great..
The giant octopus was cool!!!

Anyway, I watched the movie together with my brother and 13 of my friends.
Entah kurang kerjaan ato trauma *2 minggu lalu pas nonton Superman returns, tempat duduk nya dapet di baris ke 3 dari paling depan*,
kemaren gue, tommy, irine n lina belain buat beli tiket dulu di Jakarta Teater.
Untung nya ga rame sich, dapet tiket buat di baris B, C n D.
I kinda missed hanging with my friends..
Arranging things for doing things was never an easy task, especially now that everyone has their own schedules..
However, it is still worth a try...Don't you think?
someone : "loe ngajar anak kelas berapa aja?"
me : "Kelas 1 SD, 4 sama 6 SD"
someone : "wahh enak donk..kan gampang tuh.."
**me laughing**

The thing is..
YES, the material for P1 (Primary 1) is easy *for me*.
Introducing to numbers, addition, substraction..

What challenging is how am I going to deliver the materials to my student to make them understand the basic concept..
P1 is like the basic of everything.
If the students don't have strong foundations, then how are they supposed to work on more advance math?
"Orang bilang hidup dimulai di hari ini
waktu kita bangun tadi pagi, bukan hari kemaren, bukan juga besok..
Tapi gue percaya hari ini dimulai bukan hanya dari kita membuka mata tadi pagi.
Hari ini dimulai jauh sebelum itu

Bagaimanapun semua hal akan berlalu..
Suatu hari kita pasti akan terbangun dan tersenyum menyadari kita bahwa kita pernah melewatinya."

~Mengejar Matahari~
Kegiatan baru : fitness
Tujuan : gerak2 biar liburan ga cuman makan n tidur;p Trus buat siap2 panjat dinding minggu2 depan:)
Weird fact : Ada beberapa ibu2 yang pas fitness lengkap dengan make up^^"
Lagi berkelana di detik.com ehh ada berita ttg zidane..Nich kalo minat baca:
1. Gallas : Zidane Diprovokasi
2. Provokasi Itu, 'Anak Pelacur Teroris'
3. Zizou, Oh, Zizou....
That's a word to describe the final of World Cup 2006.
France was in a lead after Zidane's penalty after only 7 minutes of the first half.
About 10 minutes afterward, Materazzi (Italy) then scored a goal to make it 1-1.
Afterward, France had so many opportunities to score a goal *tapi emang bukan jodoh kali yach*

The thing that was so tragic was that on the second half, Zidane almost scored a goal through sundulan nya..Sayang masih ditepis ama kiper itali.
Ehhh ga lama kemudian, Zidane nya malah 'nyundul' dada nya pemaen Itali..
Ada apa gerangan? Yang tau cuman dia..

Ya eniwei, congratz buat semua tifosi Itali..
Finally datang juga saat nya hehe
It touches me at the most unexpected time,
it comes from the most unexpected people..

Sometimes I wish it will never show up again, unless it's going to stay forever.
But then again, who am I to wish to be able in controlling the universe?
I guess it's just one of those thing that keeps on re-appearing to make me believe that it does really exist.
You know...to remind me that no matter how I try to run, it will always have a way to find me.

Is it really it?
I can't answer that..
Every cell in my heart say 'yes',
but every molecul in my mind say 'not sure about that'..
"You cannot believe in your dream,
until you believe in yourself
Akeelah and The Bee by Lions Gate Films

Our Greatest Fear
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

From Marianne Williamson from her book "A Return to Love"
I am dedicated this entry specially to my 6th grade homeroom teacher "Ibu Tjun".
Gue pernah sekolah di 2 sekolah: SD Permai sampai kelas 2, trus lanjut ke Tarakanita dari kelas 3SD sampai lulus SMU.
Gue masih inget betul dengan guru2 SD gue..
Kelas 3: Ibu Niniek, Kelas 4: Pak Linus, Kelas 5: Pak Frans, Kelas 6: Ibu Tjun.
Masing2 dari mereka ninggalin kenangan tersendiri buat gue.

Nahh pas gue di kelas 5, kabar santer terdengar gitu..
"Ibu Tjun killer abis"
Wiihhh deg2an banget..apalagi pas gue tau kalo wali kelas gue kelas 6 adalah Ibu Tjun.
Tapiii yach..gue bingung kenapa Ibu Tjun dibilang killer.
yaa kalo mau dibilang galak, iya sich dikit..
Tugas banyak? Iyaa jugaa..

Nevertheless, I owe so much to Ibu Tjun.
Approach dia itu bukannya gue dikasih tugas berikut aturan2 nya.
Tapi gue dimotivasi untuk jadi yang terbaik dengan cara gue sendiri.
Gue inget banget, pertama kali nya gue disuruh maju sama Ibu Tjun buat nulis jawaban PR di papan tulis.
Bayangkan..gue maju rame2..Di saat orang laen dah selesai dan 'batch' berikut dah maju buat nulis jawaban nomor selanjutnya, gue masih blum kelas hahaha
Trus Ibu Tjun bilank "ya udah, mulai sekarang kamu jadi sekretaris kelas..Nanti semakin cepat kamu mencatat di papan, semakin banyak juga ilmu yang temen2 kamu dapet"

*doeng* hahaha gmana gue ga panik cobaa..
Yaa akhirnya gue jadi lancar banget yang namanya tulis cepat di papan tulis maupun di catatan.
Bahkan sampe lulus SMU pun, gue seakan2 punya title "sekretaris kelas" hahaha
Truss ada satu lagi..
Gue jadi juara 4 lomba mengarang seJakarta Utara juga berkat Ibu Tjun ini..
*gara2 sering dikasih pr ngarang kali yach haha*
And you know what the silliest thing was?
Gue jadi juara 4 karena menurut juri nya
"Dia cadel, jadi nya di bagian pelafalan nilai nya kalah sedikit"
Bwahuahahhaa..ya ya you can laugh at it..Gue juga ga stop2 ketawa pas denger itu..

Eniwei, sejak beberapa hari lalu gue sms-an ama Ibu Tjun.
Beliau ada di Jogja, dan Thank GOD she's fine..
Yang gue kagum, beliau bahkan masih inget nama lengkap gue dan teman2 main gue..
*karena gue terlalu bandel?;p*

Semua hal di dunia ini,
sesingkat apa pun keberadaan nya di dunia, akan meninggalkan suatu tanda bagi orang-orang yang pernah merasakaan keberadaan nya.

Terkadang bukti keberadaan nya telah tergantikan oleh hal-hal yang lebih baru, keberadaan nya mulai terlupakan oleh beberapa orang.
Seperti hal nya suatu bangunan yang sudah lapuk.

Bangunan lapuk itu pernah menjadi bangunan kokoh pada masa nya.
Ketika keberadaan nya akan digantikan oleh bangunan yang lebih baru.
Dan mereka yang pernah bernaung di bangunan lapuk itu, sampai kapan pun akan mengenal lokasi itu sebagai tempat di mana bangunan lapuk itu pernah berdiri kokoh.

Bagi mu para guru yang pernah singgah dalam hidup ku,
keberadaan kalian dalam hatiku tak akan dapat digantikan oleh apa pun.
Bahkan tidak oleh teknologi apa pun.
Karena bagaimanapun, dedikasi, semangat dan kegigihan kalian lah yang telah membantu ku membentuk diriku untuk dapat melangkan sampai hari ini.

Guru pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa, yang akar keberadaan nya akan selalu membekas dalam hati kami yang pernah kau ajar.
Terima kasih Guru..
I was one of those people who were willingly enough to watch the movie even if I had to sit 3 rows from the front.
Together with my bro, his gf and 8 of my friends..we occupied 4 rows in J row..and another 8 in K row..

The first thing that caught my attention is..
Brandon Routh was smoking hot!!
What I mean by HOT is H.O.T!?!?!?
*kecuali pas rambut nya tiba2 ada poni nya satu keriwilan gitu*

The overall story was just ok..
It didn't really satisfy my appetite for good movie,
though it was another proof that a man is at his strongest and his weakest point when there is a woman by his side.
Superman has Louis Lane,
Spiderman has Marie Jane,
Hulk has Betty Ross,
Wolverine has Jane,
Batman hhmm he has a lot of woman? Haha dunno about this one, cause I don't really follow Batman story.

As I said to one of my best friend:
"Love brings us to the highest point, yet it has the capability of bringing us to the lowest point that we'd never imagined before."