"Listen to what your heart tells you.."
That probably is what we hear when asking other people for advice..
I personally usually say that just to assure other that no matter what I say, in the end it's their decision to make.
Well, okay..I think I've said that line quite often:P
I do realize, how hard it is to actually live with that..
I mean,
How do we know what my heart tells us?
Some might say that sometimes, just sometimes, our conscience just doesn't make any sense..but it is indeed the right choice to be made.

To be honest with you, I'm not the type of person who can easily make decision.
Most of it because I'm afraid to make mistakes..
*Who on earth won't make mistake, right hehe*
So, instead of just following what my heart tells me..
I'm usually blown away with lots of stuff.
like "What if that's not the right thing to do?"; "I don't think that make any sense"; "What should I do?"..etc..
Hueee macem2 hal berkecamuk dalam benak gue hehe..
Dan macem2 hal itu biasanya bertentangan satu sama lain.
Doesn't help at all yach:P
Yaa bisa dibilank kadang2 gue sedikit plin-plan kali yach hehe

My point here is,
Is it possible that our conscious is wrong?
If it's not possible, then how to assure that we're following our consious..not our emotional intuition?
Perbedaan yang kecil tapi cukup bermakna:P
*Oh my..what am I talking here.. Starting to talk without direction :P*

There comes a time when you must stand alone.
You must feel confident enough within yourself to follow your own dreams.
You must be willing to make sacrifices.
You must be capable of changing and rearranging your priorities so that your final goal can be achieved.
Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.
There are times when you must take a few extra chances and create your own realities.
Be strong enough to at least try to make your life better.
Be confident enough that you won't settle for a compromise just to get by.
Appreciate yourself by allowing yourself the opportunities to grow, develop, and find your true sense of purpose in this life.
Don't stand in someone else's shadow when it's your sunlight that should lead the way.

e.COM 2004
Tomorrow is almost the D-days hehe..
There's going to be a technical meeting for Story Telling in my campus tomorrow.
What actually e.COM 2004 is?
Hhmm how should I explain diz..
It's an annual English Competition, held by BiNus IUP University, that will take place on 1-4 September 2004.
We're going to have Debate, News Casting, Scrabble, Spelling Bee and Story Telling for this year's e.COM.
The closing ceremony will take place in STC Senayan:)
Apart from the award giving, We will have performances by bands and BiNus IUP's Modern Dance.
Should any of you interested to come to e.COM..
You can come to :
Joseph Wibowo Center
Jl. Hang Lekir I No. 6
Kebayoran Baru
(Beside Universitas Mustopo)

I love this song for no particular reason hehe..
Lagu nya Tara McLean enak2 koq hehe..Ada yang judul nya 'Settling', itu mellow banget hehe..
macem2 dech hehe..

Tara McLean : If I Fall
It seems so far to go, It took so long to get here
Now I’m saying things I swore I’d never say
And I’m afraid again

I thought I had it in me, I used to be so sure
There I was stronger than ever
And here I am blaming the hurt

And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I’m the only one who can help me find my feet again

Sweet little fighter. Sweet little scar
Sweet little fire. In my heart

It seems so easy now, everything I dreamed about when I was a child
It looks like a good thing’s here and I think I’ll stay for a while

And if I fall, I will find a way back to my hands
I’m the only one who can help me find my feet again

You came in screaming
And never stopped to listen to your one and only prayer
A place for you somewhere
Some of you might have already known how I love my highschool.
I went to Tarakanita 2 High School in Pluit.
Noo..it's not a homogen school:P hehe..We do have boys in our school.
*If you went to Tarakanita 1, then you will meet all girl students hehe..*

What I miss from my highschool?
Hmm let's see..
I miss the time when I had to run to the gate and 'beg' the security guy to let me in..
I miss how I managed to still time to play volleyball, even when I still had a lesson in class:P
I miss the break time, when we all rushed to the gate and crowding Asius's place, bakmi Ibu, robak Eddie, Hasan's place, batagor, telor-guy, hamburger, dkk dk..
I miss the hall; the place when we usually ate our lunch or just have a talk..*istilahnya, tempat ngetem nya anak2 TarQ hehe*
I miss the rush before volleyball game..
I miss the classes, with the old-ceiling-fan that ready to fall in anytime:P, the dusty blackboard and window, the desk where we usually kept our stuff..
I even miss the small-dirty-stinky toilet hehe..
I miss my highschool a lot..


Owalah..what a strange movie:P
I think it's supposed to be an action movie, but me and many others laughed a lot during the movie..
There were a lot of part in the movie that just didn't make any sense hehe..
For example, how Zang Yiyi suddenly recovered from the wounds..things like that hehe.
*try not to be a spoiler:P*

However, the scenes were very beautiful and the fighting scene was also great..
Overall, Hhhmmm not really my type of movie:P

Silly thing happened to me just before I watched the movie..
Because some miscommunication, me and my friend ended up with 4 extra tickets hehe..
Thus we stand near the locket and ask people around whether they want to watch teather 5 or not:P
Oh my..what a silly thing..

Oh my, I think I hurt my hip..
Hehe thanx to Felix, Agus 'n Ko BS who faithfully accompany me playing fuzball for about 2 hours *nonstop*
Ckck..ga ada kerjaan banget ga sich..
Selesai rapat, mestinya langsung pulank..eh ini malah ngetem di lobi kampus, maen fuzball hehe..

Okay..another movie review *Pyuhh do I started to sound like movie freak:P*
'Jersey Girl' is a drama, staring Ben Affleck, J-Lo and ....
Just another ordinary love-drama movie for me.
The message in the movie was quite touching though..
"Sometimes you have to forget about who you thought you were, accept who you are and acknowledge what makes you happy"

Do you still remember how we used to dream of what we want to be when we grow up?
I'm the type of person who got influenced easily..
I wanted to be an astronout, then I wanted to be a teacher..then again I wanted to be a sportwoman..and it goes on and on and on..
I've never stopped dreaming..Not even now.
I guess that's what keeps me going to be become a better person.
You know what..
When I set my goals, I actually can see how I fit the whole idea of what I want to become..

but hey..I'm not living one of my childhood dreams.
Maybe I haven't tried hard enough, or maybe I'd never thought to actually pursue them..
Maybe I'm just a dreamer:P
At somepoint, I wonder what would happen if I try hard to pursue my dream..
but I can't change what I've done, right..
And guess what!!
That doesn't make me an un-happy person.
I'm happy with what I am now..happy with what I'm doing and I can't wait to see what I will become.
Eventually I keep those "wannabe"-dream inside me.
I found what I actually love, and I'm working on it.

If we think about it,
How many of us who eventually living that dream, or at least on our way to live that dream?
I obviously not one of 'them' hehe..

I want to clear something here..
Hehe on the previous posts I used the GMT alias waktu Jkt - 7 jam hehe..
Nahh starting on this post, I change the time into Jakarta mode hehe..

It's a long long journey, till I know where I'm supposed to be.
It's a long long journey, and I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes,
I am lost and know that I must hide..
It's a long long journey, till I find my way home to you.

Many days I've spent, drifting on through empty shore..
Wondering what's my purpose, wondering how to make me strong.
I know I will falter, I know I will cry..
I know you'll be standing by my side..
It's a long long journey and I need to be close to you..

Sometimes it feels no one understand..
And I don't even know why I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul,
will you break down this wall and pull me through..

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel now I am worth a price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies..

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control..
Cause it's a long long journey, till I find my home to you..

-Angela Chang : Journey-


Just as i promised, I'm going to give the detail of books that we need for the next semester..

Rp. 215.000,- Rp. 155.000,- Rp. 140.000,-

Rp. 215.000,- Rp. 200.000,-

Sorry if the layout is messy hehe.

I've shown you my love in ways that you might not understand..
I choose to be still in silence when my heart screams..
I say words that I don't mean, simply to keep my feeling away from you..
Maybe you don't know how much I love you,
but I'm sure you do know that I love you...
I just want to say I'm sorry for all the words I didn't say..
And most of all, I'm sorry for not letting you know how much I love you.

A simple misunderstanding..
All of us surely have had that experience..
Not knowing others' condition can create a misunderstanding..
What basically cause that?
Could it be because each and every one of us have our own p.o.v (point of view)?
Or is it the unwillingness *is there such a word like that? hehe* to look through others' eyes?
Well, whatever the reason is..
I just want to say I'm really sorry to someone whom I just talk to on the phone..
I didn't understand your situation, thus create a simple misunderstanding between us hehe..

This is by far the most unbelievable holiday..
These past few months really have taught me a lot of things.
I feel more aware of the living in this world..
And I feel that I've become a better person than before..
Well hopefully what I'm feeling is true:P
Let's see..
I've faced some situation that I'd never thought I would get involved in..
I finally meet people whom I thought could never exist in this 'so-called' beautiful life..

It takes a lot of courage to stand up to our enemies, but it takes a great deal more to stand up to our friends..

It's one of the line in Harry Potter 1..I was pretty amazed by this line.
This line reminds me to one of my old friends who I admire so much.
I can say that she is a very good friend..
not because she can cheer me up all the time nor because she always gives me perfect advice..
It's because she doesn't say what I want to hear..
She always tells me things that I really don't want to hear because I'm too scared to face the truth.
And I respect her for that..
She's by far one of few people I know who can speak out her mind without making others feel offended..

book list for the new semester...

just here to inform all of you, that the book list is now available in the student service hehe..
For computer science batch 2006, the book will cost us Rp. 925.000,-^^"..
You guyz want to buy all of them? Naah..I'm not really sure about that hehe..
The "Core Web Programming" book is so thick..It's the one in the library I think..
Well, i'll give the detail information tonight hehe..

I just finished 'teaching' the new student in the lab...
It's fun hehe..though Bule is very late.
Anyway, I gotta go for now..
Sorry again for not writing for so long hehe..
I'll write again tonight hehe..
I'm going to MangDu now..
See yaa...
Sorry I haven't updated this blog for so long hehe..
There was an Orientation Days in my campus from 11-14 August.
For three days in a row, I had to get up at 4am...
It was really tiring, but lots of fun hehe..
Well, I'm not going to talk about the O'days hehe.. but I think this post is gonna be a long one:P

Yesterday I went to the cinema with my old pals..
Me and my 2 friends watched 'The Village', while the others watched 'Dirty Dancing'
The Village, a mystery movie that keeps me wondering what the mystery is hehe.Confused? So do I:P
The story runs pretty slow..Almost half of the movie was the introduction that I thought was really nice.
It makes us involved with the emotion of the characters.
I can't tell you much about this movie without being a spoiler hehe..
The point that I'm trying to say is, you won't be able to guess the mystery that lies in the movie until almost the end of the movie..
The ending itself was really fast..
I didn't expect it to end so soon hehe..
I thought the story would still go on for like another 10 or 15 minutes,but then I saw this guy started to open the exit door..
And I was like "What? This is it??"Hehe..overall, the movie is okay..

I can't believe it..My dad also watch the Indonesian Idol hehe..He adores Helena and Joy:P hehe..and doesn't think Delon eligible to be the winner.Yippe, Go Daddy.. hehe..What's happening in Indonesian Idol?I mean..c'mon. Do you think Helena deserved to be voted out?I really don't think so..Her performance was really cool, not as cool as Joy though:P

These past few days, I've been given a chance to taste the other part of this world.
How there are other ways of living life..
How I can feel insecure..
And most of all, how I know what it's like to not feel belong to something.
All of those make me grateful for I've been blessed to have my friends..
Friends who brings out the best of me..
Who will stand by me when my worst come..
And most important, friends who make me feel that I'm loved..

I had this conversation with one of my friend the other day..
We were talking about how we regret some choices we've made..how we wish to return to the past..
And this bring us to a long discussion about how to make a good choice..
Each second in this life is about making choices..
From the minute we wake up in the morning, we're faced with choices..
Are we going to get up now, or turn off the alarm and go back to another '5-minute-sleep' or other things?
And it go on and on and on...
It's always been like that..and always will be.
Who we are now, what we've become or who we will be..
All of those are the outcome of our past actions and choices we've made.
Everyone sure have something they wish to change.
Wishing they had taken different roads, saying different words, write different answers in the final, make a bet on different team..etc..etc
Where will we be then? Who will we be? Will we be who we are now? Will we know our best friend? Will we befriend with our enemy?
*What a heavy and endless conversation:P*

Then we both realize..There is no such thing as a perfect choice.
There will always be a trade off for the choices we make.
And the fact is..we need to feel the regret sometimes.
Why? Well, what's the point of having everything so perfect?
We won't have anything else to hope for then, will we?
Three things we need in this life: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for...

I just got home 10 minutes ago..
I went to a dinner with my pals hehe..
We went to Yuraku Buffet in Gading.
It was really crowded in there. We had to wait about 10 minutes to be seated.
There were 11 of us, and we sat in 2 table.
The food was okay..There are teppanyaki, thai suki, spaghetti, dim sum, sushi roll, yaki tori, and desert..
Rp. 60.000,- per person (Do I sound like I'm promoting the place haha..)

I really miss my highschool time..
Being with my old friends really is comforting..
Maybe it's due to the fact that they knew almost half of the story of my life.(
Ga ada lagi dech jaim2 ama dia orang haha..)

Kakek, happy b'day:):)
Now that you're 20, I wish you wisdom..
I pray for your happiness, may your path leads you to a happy ending.
I pray for your sorrow, may there will always be a smile waiting for you when the tears run dry..
Most of all, I pray that Lord will always lead you to a faith..
A faith that one day, if you try hard enough, your dreams will come true..
That you will find who you are, and the reason why Lord has choosen you to be part of this world..
Happy b'day Widianto:)
Today I learn a very valuable lesson..
I learn that trusting someone could means getting hurt so badly..
I've never known that it could hurt me so much..Not until now..
What hurt me the most is the fact that, this person happens to be someone whom I trust so much..
What exactly happened? Uum..let's just say that I didn't expect this person to do things that I really didn't want him/her to do..
I totally disappointed by this person..*God knows who I'm talking about*
but I can't just stop trusting people, can I?
Being hurt by others is something that naturally happens..This I know..
but it still hurts so much, even if I've had prepared for such a condition to happen..

I bought two Charles Dicken's book, "David Copperfield" and "Oliver Twist" yesterday..
Why did I bought it?
Hehe..They're cheap..I mean really cheap..
They're both written in English, labelled as "Printline Classic" *Whatever that means:P* and only cost me Rp. 35.400,-
See..that's cheap, right?
I haven't read the books yet, but I did read some synopsis..and I believe the books are great..
You should check them out by yourself in Gramedia
*Wah..another commercial break here hehe*

Anyway, I got this annoying itch since yesterday..
I went to my highschool to meet my friend, and when I got home..my hands, feet and my back were so itchy..
Oh my..what's happening to me:(

I just figured out that the 'comment' part in my blog is broken somehow..
Anyone can help me:P? hehe..

"There's this person that you want to be for other people. TO make them happy. To make them proud of you. And then there's yourself. And sometimes it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. DOes that make any sense?"
-Dawson Creek's Episode 313 "NORTHERN LIGHTS"-


Pyuhh..This is one of my happiest weekend so far hehe..
I finally able to go out with my high school friends..
*Kembali merasa jadi anak sma* huahaha..
Ririn Aw Kiki Udy..See ya all on Wednesday hehe..


As I surfed the internet last night, I came through this web that has a lot of funny facts about things surrounding us. Things that most of us haven't paid attention to for it is sometimes unnoticeable hehe..
Why on earth do I interested in stuff like this?
Well, somehow it makes me realize that there are other things exist outside my world..

Just a glimpse of the contain of the web..
Hehe..do you know that?
Bats will always turn left when exiting a cave.
The copyright to the Happy Birthday song is owned by Warner Chappell.
The ZIP code means Zoning Improvement Plan.
There is a town in Arizona called Monkey's Eyebrow, one in Arkansas called Toad Suck aswell as a Montana town called Hungry Horse.
The city of Timbuktu does exist - located in northern Mali.
The word 'God' appears in the bible 3,358 times.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321


I just got back from the cinema watching I, Robot..
I wasn't expected it to be that good hehe..:P
Well, the film was okay..
Will Smith di sono koq kekar banget yach?^^'

Just a little history behind "I, Robot"...
It is based on Isaac Asimov's work, with some modification of course hehe
The book itself is a collection of his first short stories ever published..
The funny fact about the book is that the Isaac Asimov couldn't find the right title for the book.
Eventually, the title was given by the publisher of the book..

As you can see from the title "I, Robot"..The basic idea of the movie is how people react to the idea of human and robot living together with normal situation..
Although the special effect was really nice..The ending was kinda confusing for me hehe..You should check the movie yourself I think:P


Anyway, did any of you watch Ally McBeal last Thursday?
It was really different and..touching in some part..
Last episode was about this woman who has a double personality *if i might call it*..
The real her, named Helen, is a very vulnerable person and a loving wife..She doesn't have any social life, she doesn't work, she love art and can draw like a true artist..
And there's this other part of her self, named Helena, who is a very strong yet independent woman who believes that she doesn't need his husband.
Somehow, Helena become more dominant and has taken over Helen for the last years..
Helena wants to divorce the husband..
Well the story goes on and on in the courtroom..
With Ally and John as the representative of Helen and her husband..
And uum this guy *whose name I forgot:P* and Lisa as the representative of Helena..

What becomes the basic question in the end was...
What is it that define a person?
Is it things that he/she believes in?
Or is it his/her soul?
Doesn't people change, given the time and the stimulation from the environment?

How about this..
When someone ask you "Who are you?"
How would you answer that?
Have we known ourselves good enough?

I guess that will leave us with another uncertain yet unargueable answers:P
Love at First Sight

by Wislawa Szymborska

They both thought
that a sudden feeling had united them
This certainty is beautiful,
Even more beautiful than uncertainty.

They thought they didn't know each other,
nothing had ever happened between them,
These streets, these stairs, this corridors,
Where they could have met so long?

I would like to ask them,
if they can remember-
perhaps in a revolving door
face to face one day?
A "sorry" in the crowd?
"Wrong number" on the phone?
-but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.

How surprised they would be
For such a long time already
Fate has been playing with them.

Not quite yet ready
to change into destiny,
which brings them nearer and yet further,
cutting their path
and stifling a laugh,
escaping ever futther;
There were sings, indidications,
undecipherable, what does in matter.
Three years ago, perhaps
or even last Tuesday,
this leaf flying
from one shoulder to another?
Something lost and gathered.
Who knows perhaps a ball already
in the bushes, in childhood?

There were handles, door bells,
where, on the trace of a hand,
another hand was placed;
suitcases next to one another in the
left luggage.
And maybe one night the same dream
forgotten on walking;

But every beginning
is only a continuation
and the book of fate is
always open in the middle.

I just bought myself a cooking book,
and 2 cassettes hehe..
Usher's confession and Jamie Cullum's Twenty Something..
Why cooking book?
As many of you have already known, I'm not a cooking type of girl hehe..
Just wanted to try something new hehe..Who knows I can open a restaurant one day?
*Guess not hehe..*


Something just came across my mind..
Isn't if funny, how you bumped into another person in a mall..
Feeling familiar with the face..
Then he waved and smiled at you..
And...you don't remember anything else about him, except that feeling that you know this person..
I just met this person about an hour ago in mega mall..
As I looked at him, I get this feeling that I know him..I definetily do..
He wave at me, and come to me..
We have not so long conversation, but until now I can not recal anything about him..
Not even his name...Only knew that he's also from Tarakanita 2..
I'm sure most of you have almost the same experience as me..

Another thing that I have in my is..
Has it happened to you?
Having a feeling that you know people around you, but then it turns out that you don't know anything about them..

I've known a person for like what..uumm 3 years
And yet, I haven't had a chance to really know her..
The other night I was chatting with her, and I found out that she has so many things in common with me.
Maybe it was me who never really give a chance for her to know me better.
Or maybe it was me who never really try to get to know her better..
I guess we'll never get to know each and everyone around us if we don't work it out ourselves huh..


There's this movie that I personally think worth watching..
I watched Seabiscuit last night.
Oh my..it was great..I mean, bagussss banget banget banget.
(Not in term of Spiderman, LOTR, Troy or other movies like that..)
There's something inspiring in it. A struggling that I think is beautifuuly scened by ...
I was really touched by that movie..
The scenes, the way the characters interact with each other, the music..huaa semuanya dech..two thums up for that..
One thing bother me during the whole film though..
"koq spiderman nyasar di sini" huaaa is it just me or it's true that Peter Parker's character dah melekat banget di Tobby Mcquire.

However, gue ga menyarankan buat yang ga demen film drama buat nonton nich film hehe..
The duration of the film is 212 minutes, and di awal2 film alur ceritanya lambat banget jadi dikit ngebosenin.
There is no action nor romance in this movie, so don't expect to see one hehe..
Do you remember The Pianist?
If you think the film was dreadful, I don't think you should watch this one..
If you think the film was OK, then you can bear the 212 minutes in the theater..
If you think the film was great, then this one will also satisfy you
But in the end, hey people has different taste right hehe:P
What good for me doesn't always good for everyone hehe..

Some quote from that movies:

"They called it 'relief'
but it was a lot more than that.
It had dozens of names.
N.R.A, W.P.A, the C.C.C..
but it really come down to just one thing.
For the first time in a long time, someone care..
For the first time in a long time, you were no longer alone"

[Reporter] What do you think finally turn this horse around?
[Charles] Well, I think we just gave him a chance. Sometimes all somebody needs is a second chance.

[Charles] Everybody loses a couple. And you either pack up and you go home, or you keep fighting

"The failure is the man who stays down when he falls"
-David Dunbar Buick-


Anita and Mentari
3 August 2004
Wishing you both a guidance that will light up your way to happiness^^

Ko Bek alias Ko Fuhin
(My used-to-be math tutor)
4 August 2004
Moga2 cepet dapet jodoh:P

I haven't been this tired since my last network paper assignment... Could it be that I've stayed inactive for so long? Hehe this holiday sometime is killing me...Uurgg not because that I have nothing to do nor a lot to do. It's more to the search of myself..of what I want to be and where I'm gonna stand 5 years from now. Those thoughts never strikes really bad to me, well not until now.

Happy b'lated b'day to Raymond "Cecep" hehe..Wish you all the good things in this world.

Today...The O.C is back on TV hehe. I loooovvvveee this show..Make sure you check it out.


A few days ago, I listen to Plus FM.
*COMMERCIAL BREAK: For those of you who haven't know about Plus FM. Check it out on 103.3 FM. Hehe to my notice, the frequency will be distracted by trees. What's the relations? You're asking a wrong person hehe..*
The topic for that day was "Which jobs do you or will you do: the one that makes a lot of money but doesn't really the choice of your heart, or the one that you really really like but doesn't bring you a lot of money". I'm sure different people will have different answer to that.

As I was listening to the people who called in, *most of them are men* I struck in a moment and realize what kind of burden that a man cary...Almost all men who called that day said that they have to do works that they don't really like just to be able to fulfill his needs and his family's need..
Be grateful for those who able to find his path in doing things that he really wants to do:P

I've talked about this topic with my friends a long time ago, but I'd never really understand how hard it is until that day when I listen to the people who currently under employment..


Being a computer science student and a girl sometimes is very difficult. With all the look from all kind of people who judge me as a girl who took the wrong major..I mean, I love the things that I've got from the classess and all the experience I've had. Well maybe it's not enough in this real world huh :P huahaha..Never mind *kog jadi curhat gini hihi*

We can learn a lot from our mistakes, but we can also learn from the thigs we do right...

That's all from me now..Don't forget to watch THE O.C on TV7 @11pm hehe..
I finally start to write my own blog :P hehe..what motivate me? Uumm..In the middle of long holiday, basically have nothing urgent to do, yet this is a better way to communicate to all my friends who currently reside abroad..Hehe
So how is everybody's holiday? Gut luck yach buat sisa liburan ini hehe..

Well, I don't think I will write anything else..
I'm feeling a little dizzy right now..hehe..
This cold that I got this morning..
I think it's getting worse:(

Okay then..I'll write something tomorrow..

Quote of the day:
Everything in this life isn't about winning.
You have to love what you do and enjoy the process...