Couldn't find any better line than this to describe my state of feeling..

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw: my inability to change.

I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels better somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be waiting out there. Chances are it could be even worse.

So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little.

When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really, really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again.

Remember when I mentioned how I was deciding to move on from 'him'?
I was no where near having-the-strength to do so..
I gradually took a step back from him, but when I was beginning to sense a change..I drag myself back to him..
It's been quite a while now..
Things have changed slowly..Still moving in an arbritary direction, but really struggling to survive..

Wherever I turn to..
They always say "just follow your heart"
The thing is, how do i move on when a part of me believe that he's the other half part of me?
but again...
how do i know that it's my heart that speaking..not my emotionally thinking only..
Why does it against my logical point of view?
Am I thinking too much?
Am I making things more complicated than what they are?

No body says it's gonna be easy..
Just praying that soon it will be over..
I'm done..I'm tired of stepping forward into a no-direction..
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