Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance, no
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'd never ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said ooh, she fell in love
~Kelly Clarkson : Miss Independent~

How you feel about a girl like this?
Try to control me, boy you'll get dismissed
Do what I want, live how I wanna live
Buy my own diamonds, and pay my own bills
~Destiny Child : Independent Woman~

Oh gosh..those songs reflect a little part of me..
Frankly, I don't like the feeling of depending to someone or something.
It makes me feel weak and I don't know..makes me feel like I'm nothing.
Not to mention, my fear of getting hurt if something or someone that I hold on to suddenly walk away from my life.
I'm not the type of girl who can throw myself to my boyfriend buat bermanja2 ria.
That is just so not ME..
but hey, it doesn't mean that I do not need attention haha
I do need that, but you know..not in the way most girl wants.

I always thought that I'd be this career-woman who still single during her 20s..
Doing my own biz and fulfilling my own need..
This is the idea that has become a part of me for so long.
I don't know if I'm ready to let that go.
Try to share my independence with someone else..
*Can't even think about that^^"*
What should I do..

Everything happens for a reason, right?
So, there must be a 'why' behind this post.
Hehe..I just finished watching 'Raising Helen'..
And it hit me..it hit me hard..
Watching how a woman who decided to let go of the life that she has already had..the life that she really loves to take care of her nephew and nieces..
It made me think..
Will I have that kind of guts?
To let go of something that has become a part of me.
For now, I don't think I have that guts..
I don't know about tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, or even next year..